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Active Listening

All, Navigating Life

by Tori Roalef
November 21, 2023

When we face difficult situations and emotions, we often turn to our loved ones and express ourselves. Sometimes they can help alleviate the heaviness of our emotions by simply lending an ear. But have you ever been asked too many questions, given advice that you did not want, or overlooked because they jumped to problem-solving your situation? When really, all you wanted was to let go of the pressing weight of the situation and feel understood and validated by them.

This week, we’re exploring active listening skills that we can use in our conversations to foster deeper connections.

The Idea of the Week

In this first 9-minute video, Emma McAdam from Therapy in a Nut Shell shares what reflective listening is and how to use it. A lot of the reflective listening statements are statements that seem so obvious that we tend to skip over them in conversations. However, good active listening is not just understanding what the person says, but also showing the other person your understanding of them.

Another active listening skill is empathic listening: rooted in compassion, it is listening with the intent to understand, not the intent to respond. It involves listening to the other person to understand their feelings, emotions, and needs; validating their experiences; and connecting with them in ways that make them feel seen, heard, and understood.

In this next 7-minute video, Emma McAdam shares tips on how to practice empathic listening. Other essential elements of communication include paying attention, looking for the deeper meaning, and paying attention to your body language. However, some elements of conversation that we tend to fall into can actually disrupt our connections with the other person, such as asking questions, which may sometimes feel like the person is being interrogated; problem-solving, which may feel like you are discounting their experiences; or one-upping them.