Supporting Friends

All, Navigating Life

by Meg Tobin
May 10, 2022

It is not always easy to know what to say to a friend that may be hurting. Sometimes our instincts are to fix the problem. We see someone we love in pain and we want to make it better. But what if we just let them feel what they need to feel? What if we simply showed up, as ourselves and not the super friends we think we are "supposed to be", to be present with them? What if what they really need is a witness and not a savior? This week we are diving into these questions and sharing some resources that teach us the HOW.

The Idea of the Week

Our culture loves to fill empty spaces. A lull in a conversation can feel awkward as our brains rush to find something to talk about. This is often why when someone we love comes to us with a problem, our urge to find the “right” words or offer advice or, again, fix the problem, takes over. To help guide us in finding the words or allowing more space for our friend to be heard, let us look to Say This, and NOT This, to Friends Who Are Struggling.

How To Be a Supportive Friend is not always as complicated as we tend to make it. In fact, it is in the simplicity that we most likely will find the connection. This NPR article and short podcast listen both do a great job of keeping it simple. First, they discuss how showing up for ourselves is a precursor to showing up for our friends and loved ones. So important!

Practice of the Week

This week, we encourage you to reach out to your friends and loved ones.

Be the one to start the conversation and invite your friend to hang out or do something you both enjoy. You don’t need to make big plans; instead, it can be a fifteen-minute chat over a cup of tea at your local cafe (or on a zoom call in the comfort of your home).

We understand that reaching out and starting the conversation can feel awkward, so here are a couple of examples:

“Hey, I was thinking about going for a walk near the town park, and I would like it if you’d join me. Do you want to come?”
“Hi, I know we haven’t spoken in a while, so I was wondering if you’d like to catch up over a cup of tea at the cafe?”

News of the Week

Still Room for Upcoming Event
Integrating Earth-Based Practices with IFS.
In-person event in Erieville, NY $180 per person with lunch included.
May 20, 2022 from 9-4

Click here to register.

Introductions

Please join us in welcoming our new team member, Jackie Tartaglia! Jackie is our new administrator. We are excited to have her join our Breathing Space community.

This week we are also passing the newsletter on to Tori Roalef. Starting next week, Tori will be delivering your little bit of sunshine (i.e. the Breathing Space Studio newsletter) into your inbox every Tuesday.