The Idea of the Week
❝Shame lives in the gap between where you are and where you ideally should be.❞
Dr. K from HealthyGamerGG
What is shame (a 10-minute read)? Although shame is an often awful feeling to experience, shame is an evolutionary tool and carries information just as every other emotion does. As social beings, we all want to be accepted, so shame is a tool to “keep us in check” and adhere to cultural norms and laws. Shame becomes problematic when it’s internalized, overwhelming, and interferes with your functioning and happiness.
Dr. K from HealthyGamerGG (25-minute video) shares the different aspects of shame:
- Emotional: this is an acute in-the-moment feeling of shame and can include physical reactions, such as a tight throat, tightened muscles, and freezing on the spot.
- Identity: the idea of an ideal self. There is the current self; then there is the ideal self. Shame is born from the idea of the ideal self and lives in the gap between the current self and the ideal self.
- Thoughts: the voice of shame that we hear in our thoughts is learned from external sources in the same way we learn a language.
- Shame complex: the idealistic expectation comes from a build-up of experiences that left an emotional impact.
Practice of the Week
If shame lives in the gap between the current self and the ideal self, then it would logically follow that closing the gap and achieving the ideal self would banish shame…only, it doesn’t.
Oddly enough, achieving progress toward your ideal self doesn’t actually reduce shame for a few reasons:
- Notice your thoughts and feelings after an achievement. Are you proud of your achievement? Or, are you ashamed and think, “I should’ve been doing this all along”?
- The ideal self isn’t achievable because the idea of the ideal self is constantly changing. Any progress you make toward your ideal self becomes “pointless” because the ideal self changes and moves further away.
- Progress is not a positive reinforcer when there is an ideal self because we still feel shame over not closing the gap all the way when we do make progress. Instead, progress reinforces shame.
- Lastly, shame is born from the idea of the ideal self.
So, what do we do to overcome shame?
We must abandon the idea of the ideal self.
Put simply, the ideal self doesn’t exist. There is only you—the version of you that exists right now.
You can still grow and improve. Growth is achievable. Growth gives you the space to feel proud of your achievements. Whereas, the idea of an ideal self will always loom out of your reach and shame you for not being able to come close to it.
Acknowledge, realize, and have compassion that you, as you exist today, right now, are not someone to be ashamed of. Amy Morin from The Verywell Mind Podcast (10 minutes) shares tips and actionable steps To Reframe Your Shame.
In what ways will you be gentle with yourself this week? Let us know on our Instagram or Facebook page!
News of the Week
Morning Meditation
Thursdays 9:30-10:30am
in-person or online
$50 for 10 sessions
We are offering another guided meditation! Perfect for beginners! Start your morning by feeling self-centered, present, and calm!
ONLY 2 SPOTS LEFT!
Unlocking Your Mind: A Journey to Self Discovery
Ketamine-Assisted Experiential Psychotherapy Retreat
One Ketamine Journey—lots of deep dives into experiential therapy incorporating meditation, writing, art making, yoga, and other body-centered modalities. Step away from the stressors of daily life and fully immerse yourself in the therapeutic process. We will use Ketamine and experiential therapy to break through the stuck places to find more freedom, pace, and motivation!
Preparation Zoom Session, Thursday, March 30, from 6-9pm,
In-person Thursday, April 6 from 6-9pm,
In-person Friday, April 7 from 10-6pm,
In-person Saturday, April 8 from 9-5 pm.
Zoom Integration Session – Thursday, April 13 from 6-8pm Integration session.
More details coming ASAP!
Email [email protected] to express interest.
Only 2 slots are available.
Want to learn more about Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy? Check out the blog!
Family Constellations and Sharing of Ancestral Knowledge Workshops with Tati
Join Tati on her first US visit from her home in Ecuador, where she owns a healing and psychotherapy practice working with sacred plant medicine, ancestral healing, and art therapy.
Family Constellations is a type of therapeutic approach that focuses on exploring the dynamics within a person’s family system, including their relationships with parents, siblings, grandparents, and other family members, even ancestors. This approach can be used to address a variety of issues, such as relationship difficulties, emotional blocks, and unresolved traumas.
This workshop involves a group of participants who come together to explore their own family dynamics through a series of exercises and discussions led by our facilitator, Tatian Davila, a psychotherapist, healer, and seeker of ancestral knowledge. Tati will offer 2 workshops as well as individual healings. The workshops will be held at Breathing Space Studio in Erieville, NY.
The Family Constellations Workshop will be held on April 22, 2023, from 10 am to 4 pm.
The Sharing of Ancestral Knowledge Workshop will be held on April 23, 2023, from 10 am to 4 pm.
Both workshops will be held at Breathing Space Studio
3455 Erieville Road
Erieville, NY 13061
Individual Healing Sessions will be held in Fayetteville, NY from April 24th through 28th.
Click here to learn more and register!
Yoga Nidra and Vinyasa Yoga Classes
Yoga Nidra starts Wednesday, February 22nd from 7:15 pm to 8:15 pm.
Vinyasa yoga starts Wednesday, February 22nd from 6 pm to 7pm.
These sessions are offered in person at Breathing Space Psychotherapy in Erieville.
Private yoga sessions are now available! These yoga sessions are offered in person in Erieville or virtually.
Check out the pricing plans for yoga sessions by clicking the button below.
We’re hiring!
Are you a NY Licenced Mental Health Counselor? Or, do you know anyone who is? Send them our way because we’re hiring!
Would you enjoy working with a collaborative team of enthusiastic clinicians?
Are you curious about new therapy modalities?
Do you want control over your schedule so your life can be balanced?
Are you looking for opportunities to expand your skills by leading groups, facilitating workshops, or supervising interns/Limited Permits?
YES? Then check out our website for more details!
DISCOVER THE POWER OF YOUR INTUITION
with Michael Diamond, Medium
Hosted by Amy Asante
In Person – Syracuse NYApril 1 & 2, 2023
There’s an awakening happening around the world. More and more modern-day intuitives, mystics, and healers are activating their intuitive abilities, stepping into their power, and becoming a light for others. We all have innate intuition – an instinctive awareness of energies, information, and guidance. However, many of us doubt it. Come explore ways to better understand what’s happening in your life and what’s to come in the future. Come explore ways to improve your intuitive abilities and how to use those skills in your everyday life.
Fee: $349 to register
What You’ll Receive
Two Live Interactive Days: Michael Diamond and Monique Lang will lead you through a 2-day live weekend workshop, including various discussions, guided meditations, breakout and group exercises, Q&A, and much, much more.
Guided Meditations: Michael and Monique will help you to reset, re-imagine, and reconnect to your intuition and enhance your meditation practice.
Alternative Payment Options are available on a case-by-case basis. Please email us at [email protected] to reserve your seat with alternative payment options.
The Thought of the Week
Wishing you a peaceful week!
