Connecting with Others

The Idea of the Week

Stuck in small talk? Small talk can feel awkward—you dance around each other without ever diving deeper into each other’s personalities, lives, and opinions. It’s scripted and short. 

You say, “Hey, how are you?”
They say, “Good, and you?”
You parrot back, “Good.”
…

The conversation stalls. You scramble for another conversation starter only to inevitably run into the wall of silence. So you both scurry on your ways with a “see you later” thrown over your shoulders.

For your next conversation, try these tips To Avoid Awkward Small Talk (a 9-minute video). In the video, Charisma on Command analyzes clips from talk shows to demonstrate how the awkward small talk lingers. Watch the video to learn how you can break through the small talk to dive into deeper conversations.

Constant small talk can feel lonely. As one person described in this next video, trying to connect with others feels like:
“I have to put a mask on. I feel like I am being false and isolated from everybody. It’s like we all individually live in our own small islands, and we are alone forever trapped inside.”

In a 17-minute video, Dr. K from HealthyGamerGG explains why the mask, or the persona you create, does not actually help you gain confidence in yourself or connect with others. Through the video, he also practices these tips with the Twitch chat so you can see how you can make connections even virtually.

The Practice of the Week

So, you have hit the formidable wall of silence. You are given two options: 1) soak in the silence and simply exist with the other person, or 2) break the silence. If you are choosing the latter option, here are 6 conversation games to break the silence:

1. “That reminds me of…”: Find an object in your area or something that the other person said. Share what it reminds you of. 
2. One-word story: Create a story together. Each person in the conversation adds one word at a time. For instance, I will start with “From.” Now it’s your turn to add a word!
3. 20 Questions: Take turns asking questions about the other person. You begin by asking your conversation partner a question. They respond to your question then ask you a question, and so on. 
4. What’s Your Favorite: Take turns asking each other what your favorite [fill in the blank] is. Remember Charisma on Command’s tip from the video earlier: throw in anecdotes, memories, and opinions rather than just answering the question literally. 
5. Two Truths, One Lie: Each person involved says three statements about themselves. Two of the statements are true and one of them is a lie. The other person (or people) guess which one of the three is a lie. It’s up to you and your group if you want explanations about the statements after the reveal. 
6. Alphabet Game: Choose a category (e.g., animals, cities) and take turns naming something in that category that starts with each letter of the alphabet. One person begins with A, then the next person continues with B, and so on.

Connect with others in person or virtually, outdoors or indoors with these 10 ideas:

1. Community Potluck: Have everyone make or bring a dish from their home life and cultural background. Share memories, cultural stories, recipes, etc. with each other as you enjoy food that has a significant mark on one another’s life!
2. Language Exchange Meetup: Meet up and practice different languages. 
3. Movie Night: Share your favorite movies with each other by watching them together or explore new genres, countries, or cultures by watching movies you have not watched before. 
4. Volunteer Together: Join local community service projects together. 
5. Attend an event or participate in a workshop, class, or conference together, like any of our events below. There is more fun in numbers! 
6. Play tourist in your own city, town, or home. Try a new place you have been meaning to try but never got around to. Take photos. Point out objects that are familiar to you and share a story related to it or come up with a random backstory or ‘conspiracy theory.’
7. Escape Room: Escape rooms require problem-solving skills and strong communication. It can be a great bonding or team-building activity. Try finding a physical escape room near you or you find an escape room game online.
8. Group walk: Walk together, talk together.
9. Open Mic Night: Join an open mic night or poetry reading. Enjoy others’ performances or share your own work.
10. Have a bonfire or go stargazing. There is a free app called Night Sky that will trace the constellations in the sky for you.

The Thought of the Week

Wishing you a peaceful week!