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With any given situation, there are things within our control and then there are things that are maybe unfortunate but completely out of our control. Sometimes, it feels like there are way more things out of our control and life ends up happening to us. But there are still many things that are in our control, so this week, let's challenge ourselves to think: what can we control?

Table of Contents

The Idea of the Week

This week, we have an activity called the Circle of Control, derived from this article. The website also provides an accompanying free worksheet to follow along the activity. 

The circle of control refers to identifying things, actions, behaviors, thoughts, circumstances, etc. that we can directly control. 

Beyond the circle of control is the circle of influence, which are the things, circumstances, behaviors, etc. that we do not directly control but we can use our skills to influence.

Lastly, outside of the circle of influence is the circle of concern. These are the things that we care about but we do not have control or influence over, such as global events or the weather.

The Practice of the Week

For the activity, the first step is to write down everything that you are stressed or worried about or that you are spending energy on. For instance, “I am worried about it raining on my walk. I have been spending a lot of energy thinking about global events.”

Next, separate the items on your list into three parts:

  • Circle of Control: what you can control,
  • Circle of Influence: what you might be able to change, and
  • Circle of Concern: things you can not control.

The article provides a few journal prompts that can help you determine which items you can and cannot control. Below are a couple from the article.

  • How can you take ownership of your thoughts and beliefs?
  • What aspects of your environment can you influence or change?
  • What are some actions or behaviors that you can control in your life?

Reflect on your list. Does any one circle have more or fewer items than the other circles? When you are worried or anxious, which circles do you tend to think about?

Can any of the items in your list be broken down into smaller pieces? For instance, the example item “I am worried about it raining on my walk” can be broken into something I can not control (raining) and something I can control (going on a walk, the time I go for a walk, where I go for a walk).

Then, analyze your list. What items matter to you right now? In the next day, week, or month, what items do you want to focus on? These should be items that matter to you and that you can control. Feel free to star these items.

Finally, develop a plan of action. For the items that you want to focus on, develop a plan of action. How can you improve the situation? In situations you can not directly control or influence, what actions can you take? Connect with your loved ones and support system to help you build these action plans and think creatively to tackle these challenges.

The Thought of the Week

Wishing you a peaceful week!

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