Reconnections

All, Navigating Life

by Tori Roalef
July 8, 2025

Have you walked by something that reminded you of your old friends, bringing up fond memories and making you miss them?

Life is busy. Paths diverge. Friendships often dissipate over time, and reconnecting can be difficult at first. So, this week, we're rekindling the connection with our old friends.

The Idea of the Week

Is there someone in your life you’ve been meaning to reconnect with, but every time you think of reconnecting, you hesitate?

There may be many reasons we hesitate, among them feeling awkward or fearing rejection. What if they don’t respond to you? What if they say no? What do you say? How should you say it without being awkward, pushy, overbearing, or *insert another judgment here*?

Reconnecting with an old friend may feel uncomfortable at first, so you hesitate. Put it off. Maybe wait on them to make the move first. Except, they are likely in the same boat as you, feeling awkward and waiting for you to make the first move.

The longer we put something off, though, the bigger the task becomes in our mind.

After putting it off for so long, the simple task of making the call or sending a message can feel bigger than it initially did. It may take more energy out of you because it feels more energetically charged from all the moments of hesitation.

Take a moment to reflect. Why are you hesitating? What comes up for you when you think about reaching out? Try journaling it out with these prompts, talking to your therapist, or processing what is happening internally.

Then, take the leap. Make the call. Reach out again.

The Practice of the Week

Uncomfortable. Awkward. Scary, even. Those might be the first feelings that come up when you think about reconnecting with an old friend whom you miss.

You’re not alone in feeling awkward. In this 5-minute video, 4 people record the moment they call their old friend whom they haven’t spoken with in years. It may be awkward at first, but each of them makes plans to connect with their friends again and share how they felt following the initial call.

In this 8-minute article, Verywell Mind shares that reconnecting might be awkward, yes (with 6 tips to make things less awkward). It’s likely you are both different people from when you last connected. You have different experiences since then, different interests, shifted worldviews.

Things may not feel natural at first, like it was before, because there is the initial “getting to know each other” again. Getting into the flow of one another again. How exciting! And a bit scary. And still, even more exciting if you think of all the adventures the two of you could embark on. What memories could you create together now?

Here are a few ways you could reach out and reconnect with an old friend:

A simple way to reconnect is to send a message. Don’t worry about the “right” words or how to say the “right” thing. As Mended Light in How to Heal a Broken Friendship says, “The right words are usually the simplest ones. ‘I miss you.'”
If you know their address, send them a card or letter.
Invite them for a cup of coffee. Offer it as a co-working session if you’re both very busy.
Invite them for a campfire and enjoy the summer night over marshmallows and s’mores!
Send them a pebble. Maybe not literally a pebble, though. Pebbling is an act of offering a small, meaningful gift to bond with someone. Did you see a keychain that reminded you of them? A meme? A quote? Something that reminded you of your fond memories with them? Send it to them. Let them know.