Limiting Beliefs

by Tori Roalef
January 7, 2025

The new year often brings a wave of inspiration, and we may feel invigorated by everyone's new year resolutions. We jump on the train of new experiences, ready to tackle long-delay goals.

Yet, by the end of February or March, the initial spark fades. Doubts creep in. We hesitate. Sometimes, we don't even get started with our goal, too caught up in 'preparing' and telling ourselves, "Once we have this one thing set, then we'll be able to start this goal and be the person we want."

These patterns often stem from limiting beliefs—those hidden, self-imposed barriers that hold us back from new possibilities. This week, let's explore how these beliefs shape our actions and how to break free from them.

The Idea of the Week

Limiting beliefs are the thoughts or beliefs we have about ourselves that hold us back from something. When we developed these beliefs, they may have been useful at the time. We developed the belief because having and acting on this belief protected us from harm, danger, or pain and preserved our sense of safety.

However, while they were once useful, these limiting beliefs now hold us back. Struthless on YouTube provides an excellent example of how something that was once useful is now holding you back.

Imagine you are in a canoe paddling across the river. The canoe makes it a lot easier to cross the river—it’s useful and helps you reach the other side. Once you reach the other side, you climb out of the canoe and continue your journey on land.

However, you bring your canoe with you. It was helpful in carrying you across the river, so you have trouble parting with it.

So, across the land you go, carrying your canoe along with you—dragging it over the ground, lifting it over obstacles, and weaving between trees and buildings. Bringing this canoe with you on land takes a lot of energy, doesn’t it?

While the canoe was really helpful in the water, it takes up so much of your energy and resources to continue holding onto it. You may not be able to take certain routes because you can’t fit the canoe, or you don’t pick up new skills because you still “have to” carry the canoe.

So, while a belief may have served a useful purpose at one time, it may not be serving you now. When that belief stops serving you and starts holding you back, it’s a limiting belief.

The Practice of the Week

In this 17-minute video, Emma McAdam from Therapy in a Nutshell provides a step-by-step guide for identifying and overcoming limiting beliefs. The journal activity is also informed by Avery Hart’s 4 Steps for Overcoming Limiting Beliefs with Shadow Work.

Step 1: Notice the labels you give yourself. Write them down. You can also try writing down all the thoughts and beliefs around a topic, person, or situation. For instance, write down all your thoughts/beliefs about money or relationships.

Step 2: Try to step back from them. Practice watching your thoughts and observing these beliefs as they crop up.

Optional Journal Activity: Where did you learn these beliefs? You don’t have to think really hard on identifying accurate facts of where you learned this belief, but see what words, memories, or images come to mind when you ask yourself where you learned this belief. This may help give you clarity about this belief.

Step 3: Explore these labels and interrogate the belief. Recognize that these are beliefs, not necessarily truths. Check these labels for rigidity, falsehood, exaggerations, or minimizations. What evidence do you have for this label? Write this evidence down for and against this belief.

Step 4: Ask yourself, which of these labels are helpful and which get in the way of growth or change? Sometimes it may be helpful to invite a different perspective. Snag a safe friend or loved one to help you explore the labels and identify what is helping or not? What do your loved ones observe?

Step 5: Highlight the labels that serve as excuses for you. Consider replacing these labels with a growth mindset.

Step 6: Let go of false sources of self-worth, such as perfectionism, approval, or comparison.

💡Emma’s Tip: Spend less time focusing on your identity and ego, and spend more time focusing your energy on your values.

For instance, “I am smart”, “I am a hard worker”, “I am broken”, and “I am a failure” focus on your identity. Meanwhile, “I made time for a walk at break today” and “I stretched for 5 minutes” may represent your value of moving your body.

When you come up to a behavior or trait that you do not like in yourself, ask yourself, “Which value does this represent?” Is your behavior aligning with your values?

Journal Activity

Below is a journal activity from struthless on YouTube (19-minute video) to rewrite your belief and begin embodying the new belief.

Start with rewriting the belief. What belief do you want to replace the limiting one with? It may be useful to first start with a neutral belief rather than going full-force on a positive belief, especially when it’s difficult to believe in that positive thought.
Add “because” after the belief. Here, struthless says you are “building a case for the opposite of your limiting belief.” You are also providing yourself with the behaviors and habits that someone with this new belief would have.
Each day, finish the “because” statement in a new way. For instance, on day one, “I will be relaxed and have a clear voice when I deliver my public speech because I am practicing my speech for twenty minutes.” Then on day two, “I will be relaxed and have a clear voice when I deliver my public speech because I am familiar with the content I am speaking about.” Then on day three, “I will be relaxed and have a clear voice when I deliver my public speech because I have already talked about these things with my colleagues.”