Wall of Awful

The Idea of the Week

People with ADHD often experience difficulty with starting tasks. They may even experience “simple” tasks as an insurmountable mountain to climb. Even if they want to do the task or know it’s necessary, it’s still really hard and stressful to do The Thing.

The time “not doing the task” is often spent in bouts of shame, guilt, and negative self-talk. I should be doing The Thing right now. Why can’t I do The Thing? It’s simple. I just need to do it.

From the outside, it may seem ridiculous or like the ADHD-er (or someone with ADHD) is being lazy, but that’s far from the truth.

The thing is, the ADHD-er is not just facing a simple task. They are facing a Wall of Awful.

This Wall of Awful is an emotional barrier that sits between you and The Thing. Jess from How to ADHD describes this analogy in her 7-minute video: Why is it so hard to do something that should be easy?

The Wall of Awful is built up of emotions and past experiences that interfere with your ability to get to the task at hand, or The Thing. Your Wall of Awful may be built up of past failures and rejections, people’s disappointment, your disappointment, worry, fear, shame, guilt, negative self-talk, and so on. Over time, this wall builds higher and higher, brick by brick, and multiplies itself to guard many tasks.

Everyone will experience some Wall of Awful. For ADHD-ers, this wall surrounds more tasks and tends to be bigger due to the differences in the brain. ADHD brains have difficulty managing certain executive functioning skills, such as planning, initiating tasks, self-regulation, managing time, and sustaining attention. Here is an article from Verywell Mind that breaks down the features of executive dysfunction in ADHD.

The Practice of the Week

“Just do it!”

When you are facing a Wall of Awful, you might’ve yelled this at yourself or had others yell at you to just do The Thing and get it over with.

It can sprout from a place of exasperation, anger, frustration, or overwhelm. Or it can sprout from not understanding that what’s holding you back is not the task or your skills and ability—it’s the Wall of Awful.

So, instead of saying, “Just do it” to yourself, here are 5 alternative affirmations from VeryWell Mind.

“Just start. Don’t finish.”

The longer we put off a task, the bigger the task becomes in our mind. So, what starts as a 4-minute phone call to schedule an appointment becomes a phone call that could take the entire lunch break and alter the trajectory of your life.

So, break the task into tiny steps and commit to taking the first one. That’s it. You don’t have to finish the entire task. Just do one piece of it, and then you can walk away from the task. Working on little bits of the task often prevents the task from inflating in your mind.

“Done is best.”

We may put off a task until we are “ready” for it so we can complete the task “perfectly.” Perfectionism often gets in our way and builds up in our Wall of Awful.

It does not have to be a perfect product, just a finished one.

If it is something that needs to be refined, then you can do that later. For instance, if you are writing a book, what you write the first time will likely never be read by another person. The book will go through several edits and drafts before it reaches the eyes of your audience.

To get there, though, you need the first draft, and the only purpose of the first draft is to exist—not to be the perfect draft.

“My best is different every day.”

We do not perform at the highest speed and level all the time, every day. We are not machines. Our energy levels and performance vary throughout the day and from day to day. Your best today may be at “90%”, and tomorrow is at “40%”. But that 40% is still your best.

Something that was easy yesterday may take more energy today. That’s okay.

“It’s ok if this is hard for me.”

Are your thoughts plagued by “Should”?

I should go to the gym. 
I should have known I needed to do that first. 
I should be eating healthier. 
I shouldn’t be stressing about this task. It’s easy.

The thing is, something about the task is not easy. That’s okay. Ordering yourself to do The Thing when something is in the way will only fester your relationship with yourself and add to the Wall of Awful.

Instead, acknowledge that it’s hard. Recognize the Wall of Awful. Ask yourself with open curiosity and compassion, “When will I do The Thing?” and if the answer is, “I don’t want to do that now,” ask yourself, “Why not right now, specifically?” Stay curious and compassionate.

“What can I learn from this?”

The Wall of Awful is built from previous failures and rejections, which sprouts fear, shame, disappointment, etc., from those experiences.

Failures and mistakes are inevitable, and they are necessary for us to learn and grow. So, when dealing with a Wall of Awful, we can compost some of that shame and disappointment into curiosity and growth. Turn it into an opportunity to learn.

News of the Week

Sign up for our newsletter to be the first to know about upcoming events and special deals!

The Thought of the Week

Wishing you a peaceful week.